From a professional standpoint, I have difficulty selling myself to other people. Before I send out a request, I will email my editor and she will tweak it. It has taken me a long time to connect the dots and realize of why I have been struggling with this. At first, I thought it was for typical reasons like low self esteem, low self image, and fear of rejection. I’d read books to try to “fix” this issue but it wasn’t until recently that I had a series of conversations with my editor that I realized why; and it has nothing to do with how I see myself, but rather, the bigger societal view.
As I explore this in the next few months, you will notice a few posts that are slightly different than what I usually write about. My editor challenged me to write about my own neurodiversity, and my own journey living with neurodiversity. It has shaped the way I write, and my views. I don’t just write as a parent, but as someone living with her own neurodiversity challenges.
The thing I struggle with most are the mixed signals about my neurodiversity. From a young age, I had been told by teachers, adults, and my peers that I couldn’t be successful, solely based on the fact I am neurodiverse. It has nothing to do with skin color, sexual orientation, religion, or being a female, but with how the world sees people with neurodiversity.
My whole life I have been expected to “conform” to the world’s rule book, which I find is completely ironic; because one of the messages I have heard throughout my life has been “Be true to yourself, don’t change for other people.” Yet, I have been told by the world, that the way my brain functions is wrong, and people have tried to “fix” or “cure” this. I feel like society as a whole is then devaluing me as a person by only seeing my neurodiversity condition, rather than seeing me, and the person that I am.
My story is about the life I have lived, and my journey to finding value in myself beyond how the world sees me. Since I have learned to embrace how my brain learns, I have become more successful in life.
Over the last few years, I have gained a perspective that I never had before, and that perspective has changed me. I believe that God knew me before I was born (Jeremiah 1: 4-5), and that He made me in His perfect image. He is the Almighty, Omega, and my Creator! He knew I would be nuerodiverse, but I am perfect in His image. To deny my nuerodiversity is to deny part of my soul; I can’t have a relationship with God with out it.
Like everything else in life, the part that matters is how you respond in the face of neurodiversity. I believe God doesn’t love me in spite of my neurodiversity, He loves me because I am His, and He made me. God gives us the wisdom, knowledge, and understanding to walk through life being a light in the darkness. He wants us to minister to other nuerodiverse people, and to give them hope in a world that doesn’t love them. I am loved, and I don’t have to conform to the world’s views about neurodiversity, just like as believers, we are not to conform to the world (Romans 12:2).
Where does that leave me as a professional needing prospective brands? I am not sure, but I do know that I will not allow myself be devalued anymore due to my neurodiversity!