Being Closer To God · Christian Living

Momma Confessions: A Discouraged Heart

There was a period in my life that I was fierce prayer warrior. I would spend hours praying, and using scripture in my prayers. Then something happened and I don’t know when or why but I stopped being a prayer warrior. I mean yes I prayed but not in the same style. There was a shift in it that I just can’t put into words.

I spent a good part of the end of 2017 in prayer. I found myself praying with scripture and spending hours in the word. During that time I found that my heart had become discouraged. Over the years I have this un-movable belief that my child will talk to us, and actually be in worship ministry. I also believe that Lilly will be able to walk independently. By doctors standards it’s the impossible but by God’s standards it’s possible.

Somewhere my heart became discouraged with God. It could be I started listening too much to the world when it concerned Lilly. Lies like “Maybe it’s time to make her comfortable.” “Maybe it’s time to rethink the walking goal.” “She isn’t as far along with the communication device as we thought.

It’s amazing how simple conversations can lead to seeds of discouragement with God.

God started breaking down these lies one by one. It started with a simple t-shirt my mom gave me for Christmas that had the Super Man S on it that said Super Mom.  I have never identified with being a super hero and never got it until I read something by Lisa Bevere in Girls With Swords, (truthfully Chapter 3 really stood out.)

The story we’re given is a God-story, not an Abraham-story

Romans 4:2

It was a reminder that the things I do make me the super hero my kids need me to be. My life may not be exciting, full of ministry or successful career wise but I am the super hero in God’s story and I just don’t know it. It’s easy to forget it when your days are full of washing dishes and doing laundry.

Powerful messages started to show up in my Instagram feed by Club 31 Women’s account. Lisa Jacobson shared some photos of her daughter and their own journey towards the goal of walking. Her words spoke right to my heart. They made me feel like I am not the only one going through this struggle.

2018 I am going to focus more on God’s Story with my family then the worlds. This is a battle that will be fought and loss more times than I would like but we have God’s Hope on our side.

Blog post in this series are:

Momma Confessions: Broken Hearted

Momma Confessions: Goals Based On Joy

Momma Confessions: Fitness Goals

Momma Confessions: Homebased Therapy

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2 thoughts on “Momma Confessions: A Discouraged Heart

  1. Be strong, I know what it can feel like. I may not be in your shoes but I do know that out God is too faithful to fail. When I read the word Prayer warrior, it spoke to me too because I find that I am also in that place where I don’t pray as long as I use to, trusting God for his strength to get back to that level of faith. God bless you and do not give up on God.

    Liked by 1 person

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