You walk into a doctor’s office, an early childhood centre or even go onto social media there is talk about children’s milestones. At six months a baby should be sitting up, or they should be talking at a certain age. As an Early Childhood Professional I am trained to identify and document a child’s development.
Those 5 words were given to us as advice when Lilly was two weeks old from a doctor. Hearing those words was personally hard for me because of my professional background. During that moment in time we where still in shock that Lilly had lacked oxygen at birth and that her MRI’s where abnormal.
When a milestone happens it’s like the world is going to explode. The kind of excitement that makes you want to get on top of tables and dance but what most people don’t talk about are the missed milestones.
For me it started with in months after the brain injury. I watched friends babies suppress my own and I found going out into parenting groups tough. It was tough watching the other kids do things Lilly couldn’t and I felt disconnected from the conversations around me.
Over the last six years that has changed. My tool box for social interactions is over flowing with tools to help me handle missed milestones. I love going out for playdates, coffee dates with friends, and I take A-man out to playgroups while Lilly is in school.
Today I am sharing my three tools that helped me adjust to handling missed milestones.
Replace The Negative With The Positive.
Facebook was new and exciting when Lilly was born. At the time I mostly had friends status in my new feeds. I learned by liking a bunch of inspiring pages it helped weed out all the status I couldn’t handle reading at the time but also helped me think positive thoughts. Being part of parent groups are great because it makes you feel like your not alone but just be cautious because if there is too much negative post it can affect your perspective on things.
Keep Going Out
It’s very tempting to lock ourselves away from the constant reminder of the missed milestones but don’t. You can not hide from all the missed milestones reminders that will come over the years. Instead set yourself to succeed in those situations. Start small with a trusted group of friends and then expand. When you choose to go out ask yourself, “Is this something that will up lift me?”
Change Your Expectations
Sometimes we can be our worst enemies because we assume the worst. If we go into a situation with only negative thoughts than we will only see the negativity. Before you go out with friends think of one positive milestone to share with them. When you are out of the house look for things that you have in common instead of looking for things that you don’t have in common.
The fact is missed milestones come in many in my world. At first it hurt so much but over time I learned new tools to handle it. I hope these tips helped you.